Dad Bloggers Deserve Respect

April 7th, 2010 View Comments


daddybloggercaleb

As the dad blogging community grows, the buzz around it is increasing. Since moms have shown themselves as a force in the blogosphere, speculation is emerging over whether dad bloggers will be a force in their own right.

I’ll go ahead and say it: dads are coming up, and brands need to understand how to engage the community successfully.

Being Daddy in a World of Mommies

First let’s put the modern-day dad in context. Dads who blog about fatherhood are by implication active in the lives of their children. As a father I can attest to the uncomfortable role in which active dads find themselves placed by society. Initially we’re hailed as heroes for being active at all, since the bar for what most people consider a “good” father is low. The smiling faces I get when I take my son out for an afternoon without his mom attest to this.

But underneath the smiles is a quiet condescension about my role in his life. It’s commonly assumed that my afternoon with my son is a break from his “real” parent. My session of “babysitting” won’t replace what he gets from his primary caregiver, right? It’s in this tension that dad bloggers live: between the burden of discovering their inabilities as a father and the low expectations placed upon them by others.

Whereas mom bloggers are struggling not to be put in a box, dad bloggers are fighting for a seat at the parenting table. They’re trying to bring respect to the institution of fatherhood. Being a dad, especially a stay-at-home dad, is being a minority in a field dominated by women.

Respecting the Role of the Father

Brands should acknowledge that dads have a role to play in the lives of their kids. Blogging moms (taking care not to say ‘mommybloggers’) have had the attention of brands because numerous studies have shown them to make most of the purchasing decisions for a household. But in many households, parents collaborate on purchasing decisions, especially on big ticket items. Why not have the support of both parents? What about stay-at-home dads and single dads?

Some industries, such as consumer electronics, already have the attention of most men and could benefit from collaboration with dads. Last year Sony made an important step. In an effort to reach out to their readership, Sony sent some high profile dads products to try out with their families. They called it the DigiDads Project.

What made DigiDads work was a recognition that dad bloggers have their own voice, and their own ideas about what to share with their audiences. Sound familiar? The same successful formula has been used to engage moms online. Treating dads as an equal part of the parenting equation goes a long way towards gaining their respect.

At the same time, all bloggers are individuals and should be treated as such. I’m a father, but I don’t always blog about being a father. Dad blogs cover a variety of subjects. Knowing the interests and quirks of each person is an important step in the engagement process.

The Year of Daddy

I think we’re going to hear more about dad bloggers in the coming year as agencies and the brands they represent realize the potential of the dad blogger community. When mom engagement began online, it blew up when brands and moms began working together. My hope is that the same will happen with dads, and we’ll be treated like blogging equals instead of a passing trend.

Weigh in: What do you think about the growing community of dad bloggers? I’d especially love to hear from other dads.


Caleb Gardner
Edelman Digital, Chicago
http://theexceptionalman.com/
Follow on Twitter @calebgardner

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  • Well Caleb, you sure have generated a good buzz and great comments with this blog. Congrats. I am digging the fact that we "dads" might be finally getting some attention!

    I've got a new radio show which I hope you'll tune in to or, better yet, call or e-mail in. Here's my blog (http://bit.ly/ThWk527) about this week's show, tomorrow Thursday May 27 at 11:06 a.m. - noon, PST on KZSB AM1290. You can call at (805) 564-1290 or (866) 564-1290.

    Keep up the good work Caleb!
  • parryheadrick1
    I'm liking the sound of this being the "year of the daddy." I wrote a Daddy Blogger Manifesto (tongue in cheek) you might find amusing.

    http://dadblast.com/?p=307
  • @Parry Hilarious! Thanks for sharing.
  • @Cameron Thanks for the thoughts. Much appreciated.
  • Caleb,
    I can truly empathize with you. After weeks of practice, my 4 year old tied his shoes for the first time all by himself. The look of pride on his face melted my heart—I’ll never forget it. These sorts of precious moments are so fleeting, and so many dads miss out on them. Today, it just happened to be a case of good timing.

    There are still so many forces—cultural, social, even genetic—which tell men they are of best use to their family at the office. Even when we feel more “enlightened” than our fathers and grandfathers when it comes to parenting, we can still be trapped by the simple fact that we pay women 75 cents for every man dollar. Want one parent to stay home with the kids? Great! But most likely, the parent staying home is the one earning less. End of discussion.

    When policy and even law are on your side, becoming more involved with your kids can still be an uphill battle. I’ve been in discussion with a dad in Alberta. He’s a new father, and wanting to take some parental leave (which is his legal right, and is even paid by the government in Canada) but he is facing barriers at every turn. His employer tells him he’s “too valuable” to let him go—that they can’t afford to cover for him (I wonder what it would cost them to replace him if he left?) and because he’s in cowboy country, they are doing the subtle macho-men stay at work BS. He’s now considering legal action.

    We are groomed to be providers. Don’t get me wrong, there is great honor and satisfaction in providing for your family, and if you are really lucky, you really love your job to boot. But in the same way society portrays women (largely) as sex objects, it portrays men as “success objects.” The sad thing is, I don’t think most men are even aware of the profundity of the forces that keep us at the office.

    I’d love to offer you some free advice to help you with your challenges if you feel comfortable emailing me with your email address. (I won’t put you on any email lists, don’t worry.) You can contact me through my website (www.bettermensolutions.com) on the “contact me” page.

    I wish you the best.

    Cameron
  • @Cameron It's funny that you should say that, because work/life balance is something I've been giving a lot of thought lately. Because of my job/commute, I only get to see my son 2 hours a day, if I'm lucky. So I've been trying to be very protective about my 2 hours, but it's a battle everyday. Thanks!
  • Great post!
    I was part of a study awhile back. The University of British Columbia in Vancouver was doing research on dads and their views as it pertained to their children’s safety. After I was questioned, I asked the head professor how the study was going.
    “Amazing” she told me, sounding surprised. “We are having to turn away dads and the ones we do talk to never seem to be at a shortage for words.”
    “That’s because when it comes to parenting,” I told her, “nobody ever cares what dads have to say.”
    It is so true that when it comes to parenting, in the eyes of Madison Avenue it’s all about the moms.
    As a side note, I’ve just started a business that does corporate keynotes and workshops on work life balance (Bettermen Solutions – www.bettermensolutions.com) My “specialty” is helping workers cope with the unique challenges faced by dads/men. I do the google alerts thing, and all the news stories about work life balance have to do with moms—as if women are the only ones torn between home and the work-place. Yet, ironically, it is the number of men who report a work life imbalance that is skyrocketing. The number for women has more or less stayed the same. Clearly, work life balance is something that affects everyone, but we are ignoring half of society in the process. We still assume men are of most value to their families at work.
    Yet another example of where the needs/voices of dads/men are being neglected.
  • @Vincent Sorry to hear that's been your experience, but hopefully together we can help educate people about SAHDs, and how one-sided the language out there is. Thanks for stopping by!
  • Vincent O'Keefe
    Looks like I'm late for the party, but here's my take. I've been a SAHD for many years now and have heard it all. Most recently an appliance guy came to the house, took a look around, and asked "You one of them house moms?!" Years ago that might have bothered me, but now I just laugh.

    Regarding brands, I was most annoyed a few years back when our local grocery store started this promotion called "ClubMom," which included coupons, discounts, etc. I'm not sure what came of it, but it seemed a bit discriminatory. Granted, my wife could have probably filled out the paperwork, but what about single/divorced/stay-at-home/working dads who aren't ashamed to admit they know their local grocery store as well as the local sports stadium?
  • @Mike Thanks for the thoughts, Mike. I'm excited as well!
  • Great post Caleb and great comments. I agree 100% that the next 12-24 months will see a huge spike in marketing programs reaching out to dads. It'll happen organically as the "mommy blogger" has simply become part of the checklist on every brand manager's plan. As they look to innovate on last year's plan, dads will be the next obvious thing.

    Brand programs aside I'm personally excited about the trend of dads becoming a bigger part of their kids' lives and sharing more experiences online. As a dad of 3 daughters, I love hearing what other guys are going through, so keep the blogs coming!
  • @SAHD PDX Thanks for stopping by! For SAHD, I think this conversation is definitely important.
  • I enjoyed your post and I don't think I can bring more to the conversation then has already been posted int he comments. As a Stay at home dad who writes about the process I am interested in the conversation but not sure where I come down yet. Thanks for the post and for facilitating the conversation.
  • @Mark You are definitely correct about some brands being a natural fit for dads. But if you think about it from the brand's perspective, moms are already an established community online with a big voice. So it makes sense that that's a draw for brands. The dad community is growing, and I obviously think we're deserving of a similar kind of attention, but this is an opportunity to show that we're becoming just as organized and influential as moms.

    Since you mentioned GM, let me throw this out there, since Chevy is an Edelman client: Although Chevy has worked with moms for recent programs like Your Mission: Our Drive, it also had a lot of male participation in the Chevy SXSW Challenge. So it's not completely one-sided.

    @Lisa Excellent point! Always good to keep in mind those very real inequalities.

    @Keith Thanks, and kudos for being a SAHD. There are several that have commented here. You should connect with them!

    @Margaret Well said! I absolutely recognize that there are moms out there who are cognizant of the disparity, and I'm glad to hear you're one of them. Let's work together towards some kind of balance.
  • But underneath the smiles is a quiet condescension about my role in his life. It’s commonly assumed that my afternoon with my son is a break from his “real” parent. My session of “babysitting” won’t replace what he gets from his primary caregiver, right? It’s in this tension that dad bloggers live: between the burden of discovering their inabilities as a father and the low expectations placed upon them by others.

    I hope you realize that there are mothers (including myself) who find these attitudes just as condescending, ridiculous, and offensive as you do. While I don't argue that Dads may find they want / need / prefer their own brand of support when it comes to combatting such bias, I also hope that the Moms and Dads who "get it" can work together vs. retreating to their own cliques and corners.
  • I agree completely. I've been a stay at home dad for 6 years now and I still cringe when I hear "Oh, so you're out with your daddy today?" when another parent tries making conversation with my boys. I cringe because I've never gotten used to hearing it. But, at the same time I think it's a little funny. Just have to roll with it.

    But, dadblogging has been an experience for me. I've been doing this for a year and met lots of good guys. We're not like mom bloggers at all. We sometimes talk about overlapping topics, but even when we talk about parenting it's from a totally different angle and it doesn't sound the same. I think it's a fresh perspective and one that is getting more attention these days. Great article by the way.
  • Interesting post and even more interesting comments, thank you.

    From 2006-2008 I published a local parenting magazine that sought to capture similar discussions about the changing face of parenting. I continue to be inspired and fascinated by the emergence of, and support for, the "new" dad — dads as primary or equally involved" caregivers.

    How Dads and Dad bloggers will be treated by corporate America is certainly part of that discussion and so worth watching, but can we acknowledge a few things?

    Asking for equal treatment from corporate America is very different from fighting for the right to be treated equally by the law and to be paid equally for doing the same work as your male counterparts — real inequities that still exist, and harm entire families (men, women and children) — very much.

    Going forward, it would benefit us all to keep these things in mind, especially when Dads are asking to be taken seriously for their ideas.

    Lisa Duggan
    www.themotherhoodblog.com
  • Caleb, great thought-provoking post! On the brand issue, as an at home dad, it amazes me that companies like GM aggressively reach out to mom bloggers to test drive their vehicles but seem to ignore the Dadosphere. Sure women are a major part of vehicle purchase decisions but aren't men traditionally more into cars than women?

    It would also seem natural for sports-related brands to reach out to dads. A lot of the guys I hang out with are into sports, whether it be getting tickets to a Cubs game, chatter about their fantasy baseball league, or their kid's soccer league. I really hope brands in those spaces reach out to me because I have lots of opinions to share in those domains. Don't get me wrong, I have opinions about Pampers too. :)

    www.ChicagoDads.com
  • @Tim Interesting point. A natural follow-up: should monetization be a goal for any blogger? Seems like a lot of people are against the very idea, although I'm not sure they should be considering the amount of time and energy put into blogging that some people expend.

    But the essential question I keep going back to: why shouldn't dads want to work with brands who want to work with them, as long as its a mutually respectful relationship?

    @freckletree I'd love a more thoughtful response if you're up for it.
  • tampon? anyone?
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